How Tinder-lizing

photo 3

One thing about the women in my life: they all seem to really, really like Mexican food.

What ended as a bus stop photoshoot started with dinner at Torticas, the same restaurant owners of Burrito King (but the latter closed down… too much cash rolling in?). After Kayla, Erika and I stuffed our face in chips, guac and meat, they complied to my wishes and we went to Starbucks. I’m now a gold member by the way, showing the world my brand loyalty and consumerist ways. For dessert we had some frozen yogurt. Yogurt will never be ice cream.

The street lights were lit by the time we got out of the yogurt shop. We wandered to the Eternal Flame; despite its cool name, it’s nothing but a concrete bench in the middle of our quad. If a couple kisses at the Eternal Flame, they end up together forever. How sweet! But a total myth. So me and my girls, we’re sitting there, right? In the dark at some lover’s mark. The topic of love comes up. And then one of them goes, “You should get a Tinder. Now.”

At the time, thanks to a good friend, I only knew of Grindr. I was super hesitant. “I’ll get one if you get one,” I said as I looked to Erika. Surprisingly she agreed and off we went, zooming past the faces of strangers. Swipe left for no, right for yes. If both parties find each other attractive, then it’s a match. Simple enough.

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“What’s up with all these guys and fish?” Almost every other picture was a guy at a lake holding his catch. Sometimes an impressive bass, most times a baby fishie. Maybe fishing was a turn-on.

Eventually I found Tinder’s appeal: it’s like a mutually shallow, light-hearted game. Will you get rejected or not? That was their encouragement. I found the app writers entertaining.

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Ya’ll really want us to meet huh

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After a while, the men’s faces all seem the same. Bland, almost. Then one day at work, while my male co-workers and I were walking, I noticed our reflection in the glass. Men, on inspection, were a bit awkward looking. Just something about the way they carry themselves, the way they walk and their body proportion. Awkward compared to a woman, that is. During the following weeks I realized women were much more beautiful than I thought; I think now I understand why some men say they “appreciate a woman’s beauty.”

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You 4 real rite now Roman? Imma 300 yo ass

P.S. I tried to make some girl friends but no girl swiped yes to me. The pain of rejection seeps deep.

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