Misadventures After Midnight

It didn’t occur to me that what I’ve been writing isn’t casual enough until Erika, the goat girl, mentioned it to me.

So lemme just get more casual here.

Within the past few months that I’ve gotten to known her, we’ve made some pretty stupid and impulsive decisions. The sad part is that we know what we’re doing might not be the most productive, but hey. Life is short and so is she (5′ 3″ rounding up).

1. That Weird Ass Dance. For my high school talent show, I came out of my shell and performed “Nobody” by Wondergirls in front of the entire student body. Never would I have imagined that four years later, I would be doing some cat dance and “Invader Invader” in front of a bunch of other college students. Not only did we perform it once, but twice– the second time in broad daylight, right on our campus’s main quad.

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At least we had masks (handmade!).

I bought the puke neon sweater for $8 from F21’s clearance. I feel like a shameless celebrity.

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2. Out of State on a Wednesday. I had told Erika about this one steak place for a while, but we never went. So on a random Wednesday, when she still had homework to do, we decided to go. We realized Beef House was on the border of Illinois and Indiana while we were there (no surprisingly from checking our Snapchats). So we decided: since we’re already half way there, why not just go directly to Indianapolis?

We went around the pretty dead downtown and explored a few places that were still open. Found a really cool dancing sign, felt the freezing cold wind as we walked and had the aftertaste in our mouths of the most delicious dinner roll in the world.

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Bring out the Indi trench coats.

3. Supersize Like No Tomorrow. I used to seldom eat McDonald’s until very recently. I think I had it four or five times last week. We like to get it late night and then decide on weird places to eat. So far we’ve hit both of our respective apartments, next to a creek, 2 am on the main quad and at the back of a magic store’s parking lot.

The cashier don’t even ask what size we want anymore. They just automatically give us larges. “Those fat asses.” Well damn! … But the fries are so good.

Not my best hair day.

Not my best hair day.

4. The CVS Incident. While on the topic of McDonald’s, during our most recent run there I realized afterwards that I had two cokes too many. I was driving and I really, really needed to pee. Of course it would be at a time where everything’s already been long closed– we went to Walgreen’s, went down every aisle and found that they had no public restrooms.

So I’m driving around, slightly panicking and very anxious. Wal-mart was too far, McDonald’s only has drive-through, and my bladder was an overdue volcano. Run dinosaurs, run!

It was like heaven sent when, in the darkest time of the night, CVS’s sign appeared before us and it glowed “open 24 hours.” I park the car, we scramble out and as the automatic doors open I read the piece of paper stuck on the door: We’re sorry, but public restrooms are closed from midnight to 6 am. We apologize for any inconvenience.

I look to Erika. “What time is it?”

She whips out her phone and then shows me.

12:01.

I'm on my way to riches.

Indianapolis: on my way to riches.

Not sure if it was due to the borderline insanity of a full bladder, the long day we’ve both had or maybe just one sitcom episode too many. It was one of the hardest times I’ve ever laughed in my life, though it didn’t help our situation any. Who knows what misadventures we’ll run into next?

#regrets #noregrets

P.S.: The one and only laundry machine in my building has started leaking. I step into a puddle of murky water every time and for some reason I keep wearing the same pair of sandals.

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